I was having coffee with a successful man—good business, nice house, kids in good schools. But his eyes were unfocused. Regret can be a real downer. Some long pauses in the conversation.
"Paul," he said, "I've been successful at a lot of things. But I don't know if I've actually been successful at just being me."
How many men are winning at the wrong game? Living a story they didn't write? It just got written for them. Wondering what the next chapter is, because the last chapter wasn't good, not fulfilling the deepest longing in their heart....?
Here's the question that will haunt you or heal you: Who are you when no one is watching?
Joseph knew the answer. Sold into slavery at 17, everything he thought his life would be was suddenly gone. For years, he lived as someone else's property—first as a slave, then as a prisoner, then as an indentured servant to Potiphar.
But Joseph never forgot who he was. He knew he had a story that God had written on his heart.
When Potiphar's wife tried to seduce him. Joseph resisted because of who he was in his heart: "How can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?" (Genesis 39:9).
That's the difference between character and reputation. Your reputation is what people think about you. Your character is who you are when no one's looking. (Read that again.)
Culture defines a man by what he does with his hands. God defines a man by who he is in his heart.
Your identity is the story you tell yourself about yourself. But most men are telling themselves a story someone else wrote—your boss, your father, your failures, your fears ... or it just happened.
That's not your real story. Your real story starts with this: You were made in the image of God, and you were born for a purpose. That's why today we make decisions that will change our life tomorrow and next week and next year.
Joseph was a slave in Egypt. But in his heart, he was still a son of promise. It wasn't just a proposition—it was his position. When Pharaoh called him from prison, Joseph stepped forward as a man who knew God had been preparing him for this exact moment. It was in him.
When you know who you are—really know—everything changes.
